I wish it could last. This peace, this lull of violence, takes some getting used to, but after a while it starts to feel nice. Like maybe it could stretch forever, and I could go on with my life.
I've started to notice things I never had the chance to before. Like the way Ethan's hand dances out to brush against mine, sending jolts of electricity up my spine, before fluttering back to cradle the huge book he holds. Or the way his smile slices through the early morning fog like a shot of espresso straight into my veins, forcing me to smile back. Even the way he hums as he takes a shower, just loud enough to be heard if trying, but quiet enough to let the others sleep undisturbed. And how I find myself with one ear pressed against the door, sifting through the sounds of running water and riotous snoring.
I want to cross the gap, to smear the line between friend and boyfriend, but I know this peace can't last, and I'm afraid that things might go back to before. Quick glances that don't say nearly enough, and the small kindness of coffee in the morning and the South Park I forgot to tape waiting on TiVo. And if I discover something more with him, I don't think I could live with anything less.
If only this could last.
Muse: Yiruma's "Love Me"
Fandom: Original Character
18.1 - If you were given a box with a button to push, and offered a large sum of money, the price being someone you don't know dies, would you push the button?
Now that would depend on a number of variables.
I know, I know, there are probably plenty of cynical critcs assuming my answer is an immediate yes. Idiots. If this were years ago, back in the colonies, well, maybe then. But what good is a large sum of money going to do me in my current position? None whatsoever. I'm already as comfortable as I'm going to be in terms of things that money can buy - my problems aren't going to be solved by buying off the Cylons.
If this were in a time when money actually served some real value to me personally, well then, I suppose it would also depend on whether or not the death of this person could ever be traced back to me. I really don't need that kind of personal scandal on
top of all the other ones. my head. If anonymity were secured, then why not? People die every day, who's to say it wouldn't be someone who's time is up anyways? It isn't as if I were putting a gun to their head and pulling the trigger myself. Except I know that you don't have to kill someone firsthand in order to feel the guilt of it firsthand.
Mun Note: This ficlet is AU&RP-based
I feel peace when I hold her in my arms. Serafina. Our little angel.
I remember the day that she was born. Her first smile. Her first steps. The first time she called me “Daddy”.
In her eyes, I’m a good person that she loves to pieces – just like she loves John, Amanda and her big brother. She doesn’t know as yet who I really am –or was...
Some day, when she grows up, I will have to tell her the whole truth about myself.
My life has changed irrevocably, but my twisted past and all the wrong things I’ve done are part of me. She has to know it.
I shudder at the very thought of what will happen when she learns the truth. It may drive us apart. Perhaps, she will be deeply disappointed, and will eventually turn her back on me. I hope she won’t, after all. I do hope she will be able to forgive and understand.
Some day in the future I’ll tell her everything. Now, I just cherish the feeling of peace and the sheer joy she gives me.
Muse: Zep Hindle
Mun Note: This ficlet is AU and RP-based.
Looking at pictures of space makes me think very deeply, about a lot of things.
For one, I think about how vast and amazing the universe is. And how we human beings know so very little about it, though scientists and other interested parties do all they can to learn. So many of us don’t appreciate the wonders of our world, whether they’re here on earth or out there in the cosmos. It’s something that every man, woman or child should be grateful to be a tiny part of, however.
And I also think about the stars, and how they relate to the Lovecraft stories that Zep and I like to read together. The texts, particularly “The Call of Cthulhu”, say that when the stars are right, the Great Old Ones will return. Cthulhu shall rise from his slumbers beneath the ocean and claim the earth for his own once more…
Some may say that’s a strange choice of reading matter for me. But Zep has taught me appreciation of it.
I still have much to learn.
Muse: John Kramer AKA Jigsaw